Whenever it's my turn to speak in front of a large audience of people, this funny thing happens. My pulse, the one that you stick your two fingers on when you're trying to find your heartbeat on your neck {your... carotid? Lemme check really quickly... Gaah. Twarted by Wiki. You know, cause they're blacked out today? It's okay. Google Images is still working and yes, it's your carotid artery (yay, anat/physci!)}, starts to beat really heavily and I can feel it nudging my vocals every time it thuds. Which is quite distracting when you're about to have to open your mouth in front of lots of people and hope air can flow well enough that you don't sound strained or uptight.
I like talking in front of people. I simply think of it as performing. You're acting. If you're in character, no one should be able to tell that you're kind of wary of their reactions. Because if you're in character, it doesn't really matter what they think. They're not judging you, they're judging your character. It's a coping mechanism, I guess, for preserving my self esteem so that I'm not devastated or take it personally if they don't like my speech, what I have to say, or me.
We had to do a Personal Narrative speech today in Comm 1 {Public Speaking} and while I know I most certainly did not have the best speech in class, I did all right. I wasn't as nervous as some of the others or as awkward {I hope}. Not bad. Hopefully I'll improve on my next one. Our professor was right though. He said something about not fully memorizing your speech because it can sound a little rhythmic if you do that and I think I definitely had a risingfalling cadence going on up there at the podium. That's not cool. Something to work on.
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List of things I should have done today instead of watching Castle and Body of Proof on Hulu:
1. Go to Ralphs to buy groceries. Basically out of the basics, so I should probably go do some food shopping, butbutbut there's no one to keep my company on the long walk there and longer walk back! And no one's driving there anytime soon.
Really should have gone today because tomorrow I have small group and Friday I get back and go straight to GOC. So. No food until Saturday/later? *O.o*
2. Well, actually that was basically it. This isn't a very long list. Heh.
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