Tuesday, March 6, 2012

When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

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{vivian lau-- this is what I wish my hair looked like. minus the antler}

I always thought it was interesting that all the bloggers with large readerships have a post somewhere among all their other ones that talks about setting boundaries over what you share.

For someone who thought it was silly to censor herself especially since so few people actually read what I write, I didn't know what part of life they were talking about-- what was I supposed to be editting? Late nights doing homework? Goofing off with friends?

I get it now.

One of the things that I haven't talked about at all recently is my apartment situation. Which is kind of amusing since this blog was originally started to document just that. But what I didn't think about last year was what I would do or say if it all went wrong.

When my apartmentmates {apties} and I fight, how much do I share? For that matter, do I share? Is it really any of the rest of the world's business? Would Shellie, who had an awful roomie her freshie year who used a blog to tear down and blame Shellie for everything that went wrong in her life, would Shellie think I was doing the same? Where's the line between being honest and talking about the things that can go wrong when you live with other people and going too far with your venting and/complaining? Am I supposed to pretend that everything's absolutely peachy when honestly, the situation's stabbing my soul a little every day?

In real life, I try not to discuss my apartment situation with others, especially when I don't know them very well. I think the only people I talk to about this are E, S, & M from Apt 213 and Steben. I haven't even mentioned to my parents that I'm not living with Emma and Shellie next year or why that is the case. I know they'll take my side {even if there is no side to take, they'll be supportive of whatever decision I make}, but I think part of me is worried that they'll go overboard, as per normal, and overreact to the dramallama that's been happening here.

Honestly, I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. Roommates should come with warning labels: "May cause large amounts of hearthurt if dealt with incorrectly" or "Caution: impressive effect on emotions if allowed". I never realized how emotionally attached I was to being acknowledged, or at least noticed, until I started living with these two.
Being ignored sucks.

I am officially announcing the setting of boundaries over what I post right now. It's obviously been in my head this entire year since you haven't read anything where I was flipping out over my apartmentmates, so I have managed to activate self-control and self-restraint, but I thought I should put it out there officially. It makes it so much more... official. *grins*


Things I Will Not Announce to the World:

1. Apartmentmate drama.
2. Other people's drama.
3. Parental drama.

Now, note that I do reserve the right to bring up any of those three things IF {and only if} I learned some life-changing, mind-boggling, universe-shaking lesson from it OR if I'm genuinely confused/concerned enough to ask for advice from the interwebs.


Things I Don't Mind Sharing With the World:

1. College realities. Like all-nighters and eating breakfast for dinner.
2. Honest opinions. Since when didn't I do that...
3. Pretty much everything else, really. I chatter a lot. And since I don't want my friends to get tired of me, I'll chatter here. Because y'all have the option of doing something else without hurting my feelings if you reallytruly want.


The upside of being ignored is that I'm an only child and therefore have a much better tolerance {or even a preference really} towards being by myself and doing my own thing. Life's actually a lot less stressful when you look at apartmenting as living on your own with two invisible, yet messy beings existing somewhere in your proximity. That way, when something needs doing, you don't get upset that you're the only one who's going to do it.

I'm choosing to look on the bright side of things today. Management fixed the light outside our front door, so now we look like a legit apartment and not a sketchy hole-in-the-wall. I am excited.

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