What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

 One of the best things about friends is that they push you.

They challenge and encourage and prod.

They look past the fears and insecurities that are holding you back and tell you that you are strong and you are smart and you can do whatever you set your mind on.

And I thank them.

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I had one of these conversations with Evelyn tonight. Basically, she asked me what I want to do when I grow up-- well, actually, she randomly asked me 'What do you want to do?' during a conversation lull, but hey, I knew what she really meant-- and I had to think about it a little bit more than I do when asked by older people. I had to think harder, one, because I didn't need to sound like I have my life all planned and perfect {older folks seem to always want to hear the nice version, not the 'my-brain-just-doesn't-know-yet-ALRIGHT?' version} and two, Evelyn's a ridiculously good listener. And she gives honest feedback and asks the hard questions {like 'why?' or 'why not?' *ha*} and doesn't think twice about telling you to hop to it if you're stalling about something.

What do I want to do when I grow up?

I wouldn't mind going into the fashion industry. Which I always feel apprehensive telling anyone else about since they never fail to give me a weird look. I mean, this is the girl whose almost-daily uniform is some variation on a t-shirt and jeans. I like comfortable. My philosophy on heels is that I should be able to run in them if necessary {those ax-murderers might take advantage of your love of impractical shoes, you know}. Even so, I adore fashion. Part of it is that fashion is artsy and creative and subjective and [generally] aesthetically pleasing. The other part is that changing your clothes can affect your entire outlook and attitude toward life and the world around you. As an obvious example, there's a big difference between your posture and stance when you're in a formal dress versus when you're wearing pajamas. I like getting to be an entirely different person with a simple change of clothes. I did four years of theatre in high school-- if I didn't like pretending to be someone else, do you think I would have stayed with it so long?

You have to get dressed every day anyways, why not make it interesting?

I also wouldn't mind working in publishing, be it books, magazines, or online magazines. One doesn't become a hardcore bookworm without the habit of compulsively reading everything in sight. I like figuring out how things work and what goes on behind the scenes to create what we see/consume and I've had a love affair with books since I was young, so when you mix those two together, doesn't publishing make sense? I want to work with authors directly or be in charge of the logistics that are needed to get a book from idea to finished product. I want to be a part of the industry that has had such a positive impact on my life and pay something back to the companies that have made me so happy over the years.

With magazines & online magazines, I'm not sure which aspect I'd be able to be involved with since you either need to be an expert writer or a fantastic graphic designer. It'd be nice to work for a mag of some sort though.

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After hearing a much more convoluted, confusing, rambling version of the above wishlist, Evelyn hit me with her advice.

Get off my butt and do it.

{or a nicer version of that because Evelyn's nice}

Basically, she asked me why I hadn't tried working towards getting into either field yet and what was stopping me from doing so.

My excuses of "But-people-{especially friends}-look-at-me-and-don't-see-fashion-minded" & "All-the-fashion-and-publishing-companies-are-based-in-New-York-and-we're-not-in-New-York" didn't fly too well with this girl. Even if they're true.

That's why she's my friend.

Cause she makes me see reason and gives me THELOOK if she thinks I'm being silly.

I was instructed to ask my friend for a recommendation to intern with an smaller magazine based near UCLA, like she said she'd do last spring {but forgot & I was a little too hesitant to remind her again}. I was offered an open-ended invitation to model for Evelyn if I wanted to try fashion blogging and needed pictures of outfits. I was given a virtual slap upside the head and a look that will always remind me whenever I receive it that I should be working towards what I want right. now. and not wait for it to come to me.

I was told to do what I am passionate about and work hard for it.

And I ohsobadly needed that reminder.

I love that girl.

Thank you, Eevee, dear.